The Things That Really Matter

I've come to the conclusion that some things that we think matter, really don't.

For example, I've honestly always thought that except for something death related, having your house burn down would be about the absolute worst thing that could ever happen. But you know what? It really isn't. Despite losing our house and just about everything we've ever had, we're okay. And even though we had a lot of things in our house that truly mattered to us, still, overall it really doesn't matter.

And it's not just because we're going, "Well, we do have the things from our home that are really important, the people we love," even though that's true. It's because this whole thing just doesn't feel as devastating as it seems like it should feel. We feel peace and this wonderful, overwhelming sense that things are okay. And that's kind of amazing.

This last year we're had some we've had some pretty out-of-the-ordinary things happen around here. With the housing market the way it is where houses aren't selling, new homes aren't being built. When the developers aren't building, the civil engineers in that field don't have a whole lot to do. So Jay has gone from being the hotshot, highly-paid civil engineer that he's been forever, with more contracts than he knows what to do with, to having hardly any work at all.

Then we had Jared's death in July. It wasn't completely unexpected due to the fact that he hadn't been willing to accept treatment for his schizoaffective disorder, and had also made previous attempts to take his own life. But we had always hoped that at some point, our brilliant, charming and gentle son would understand that with ongoing medical treatment he could actually lead a pretty regular life. But he really couldn't see it, and that never happened. He's in good hands now though.

And now there's this with our house.

I can see how it might seem like it's been a pretty awful year. A few people have made Job comments to us here and there, but things just don't feel like that to us. Overall, we feel like we've been extremely blessed this last year. It's been a really good year for us in so many respects. We've seen we've seen the hand of the Lord in our lives time and time again in wonderful and unexpected ways, and have felt an increased closeness to the Him. We wouldn't trade what we've learned and the ways we've become better acquainted with heaven for anything. And then, many good things happened this year. Our daughter is faithfully serving a mission, another daughter's doing really well at BYU, I had a book published, our kids at home are doing well, and Jay got a position teaching college, just to name a few.

We have also been SO blessed by the kindness and love of others through all this! It’s been so much that we truly feel like the windows of heaven have been opened up upon us. Some of the things people have done have been big ones. And some of even the very smallest things have just been so incredibly sweet that we've sometimes been brought to tears. I’ve never seen such an outpouring of kindness and goodness as what we’ve experienced. We’re also very grateful that our children have been able to witness and share in something like this.

I truly believe that IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER what is happening around us, like what's going on with some of the turmoil in the world. And it doesn't matter what happens to us, even though it seems like it does sometimes. The only thing that really matters is what is happening within us. If we're trying to faithfully follow the Savior, things will be okay. And although there might be times where we feel our sufferings to a greater degree than at other times, like Elder Maxwell spoke about so often, it really IS true what it says in Mosiah--

Mosiah 24:14 -- And I will also ease your burdens ....that even you cannot feel them .... and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

The Lord really does have the ability to do that for us. Being able to actually experience it to this degree has been pretty wonderful.

Life is good.